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July 24, 2004

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Dale, who writes the comics.


Some of you may have noticed that our site went down yesterday; and I have to say that it did. It turns out, insects made of pure information formed a nest in one of our webhost's servers. There, the queen laid her data packets where they hatched along a stream of binary code. I'm no programmer, so I'll spare you the technical details. However, needless to say, this was the reason why our webhosting service was full of spiders and lies. Eventually a higher intelligence evolved in the data stream which learned to eat the spiders and so here we are, four billion years later, on the planet earth.


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David, who draws the comics.

Oh... hello.

Sometimes I just don't have anything to say. Dale, now... having things to say is his JOB. But I am a simple visual artist, drifting through a world of light and color without a consonant to break my fall.

This issue has no "line art." There are lines, but they've been forced to mingle and commune with the other pictorial elements. I took away their record collection and made them come downstairs to the party.

On another note, we would love to hear your thoughts about the site design. A revision is likely to occur in the coming month, so please let us know any ideas you have in the forum. For example, a bunch of people have complained about having to scroll down on every page to see the comic, and someone said that the Previous and Next buttons are hard to find at a glance. Functionality aside, how's the mood? We tried to make it nice, you know... inoffensive. Welcoming. Clean. Our employees all wear the same smile.

Jeez, any day now we'll be hiring some consumer research agency, and in a week we'll be looking at powerpoint slides and trademarking everything in sight. Have you seen those new Taco Bell commercials? They go kind of like: "Hey Jim, how was lunch at Taco Bell?" "Hmm, well if I were to eat another bite, it would be positively grotesque!" Jim is but the first of a series of people leaping up from sofas, standing on car hoods, etc., all shouting "I'm FULL!" or some synonymous expression. Obviously, somewhere in the domain of Taco Bell, the people's anguished cries have reached the ear of the king.

The messenger kneels: "My liege, your people complain bitterly of an emptiness within. They also want to shop without getting out of their cars."

The king strokes his beard with his glove. "They shall eat tacos, and they shall know peace."


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(c) David Hellman and Dale Beran 2005